


Regret |Tsukishima Kei x Male Reader|

by rightplacewrongtime



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Beards (Relationships), M/M, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Reader Insert, Tsukishima Kei Being an Asshole, Unrequited Love, angst ending, male reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:35:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27009697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rightplacewrongtime/pseuds/rightplacewrongtime
Summary: You locked eyes with Karasuno’s number 11, and you felt the heat rush to your face. Staring agape, you decided to follow an old mans words.“Don’t live your life with regrets!”
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Male Reader, Tsukishima Kei/Reader, Yachi Hitoka/Male Reader, Yachi Hitoka/Reader
Comments: 7
Kudos: 62





	1. Regret

Epiphany.

Watching as Karasuno dominated the court, you held your pom-pom tightly in your right hand, a megaphone in the other. Your mouth almost hurt from how long you’d been smiling at the players, especially a certain blonde, but you ignored the sensation to show your support. Bringing the megaphone to your mouth after Hinata and Kageyama successfully used their combo, you screamed amongst the cheering crowd,”Go, go, Karasuno!” 

Some of the players glanced up at the crowd, and you felt your heart quicken slightly as number 11 met your gaze for a split second before returning to the game. Feeling the heat rush to your cheeks, you were about to cheer again with the crowd, when an older man nudged your shoulder.

“That blondie seems to peek your interest, huh?” 

You flailed your arms around in embarrassment as you tried to deny his observation, but the man simply chuckled at you, before pointing down at the court.

“They have some manager spots open, I’d do it if I were you. You seem interested in the sport, too.” Smiling at you, you felt your cheeks heat up as you replied,”I-I’m too shy for that. I doubt I’d be able to talk to them about it.” 

Shaking his head at you, he clicked his tongue as he said,”If you don’t take opportunities, you’ll be regretful in the future. Do you want to have regrets?” 

Shaking your head fast, you replied,”Of course not!” At your words, he slapped your back and howled,”Then go for it, kid!”

————————————  
Action.

Gripping the flyer tightly in your hand, you stood frozen outside the gym door, trying to muster up courage to go in. You were confident all day leading up to this moment, but the second you heard the volleyballs hitting the court and the sounds of yelling inside, you froze in your steps.

Repeating the words if encouragement from the old man in your head, you failed to hear footsteps behind you quickly approaching. You felt yourself stiffen like a board as a person tapped your shoulder. Turning slowly, you were frightened to see it was the blonde that you watched from the game. His sharp golden eyes stared at you as you failed to form words.

After a moment of you standing there stuttering, you saw he was losing his patience, so you shot your arms up to his face to shove the flyer in his eyes. He seemed slightly startled, stepping back to look at the paper.

“I-I wanna be a manager!” You exclaimed, heat rushing to your neck and ears. 

He took the flyer, looking at it before looking back to you. Sighing, he walked past you and opened the gym door, and faint shouts of ‘Tsukishima!” were heard. He walked in, but he left the door open, so you took that cue to follow him.

Stumbling after him, you kept your gaze on his back as you felt eyes watching you, before you heard the sound of volleyballs resuming. Sighing, you looked down at the ground for a moment too long, bumping into the blondes back after he stopped.

Hurriedly stumbling back, he ignored you as he said to the bespectacled girl in front of him,”They want to be a manager.” The girl nodded, before looking to you. Standing straight at her gaze, she mentioned for you to follow her to fill out another form to complete the process, and as you did, you watched the guy turn around and head back to join the rest of the boys.

“Who was that, Tsukki?” You heard someone ask. “I don’t know, he was standing outside when I got here. He didn’t talk to me, he’s kind of weird.” 

You felt your heart drop to your stomach at his blunt words.

—————————-  
Pursuit.

Laughing slightly as Tanaka and Nishinoya snored in their seats on the bus, you looked over to see almost everyone asleep on the bus. Emphasis on ‘almost’, as you locked eyes with Tsukkishima sitting across the aisle by himself.

Giving a small smile, you asked,”Is Yamaguchi coming to the camp at all?” Tsukishima shook his head, eyes leaving yours as replied,”No, his stomach’s hurting too bad. I’m having to bring him medicine after the games.” You nodded at his words.

Yamaguchi had to sit this training camp out, as he had a sudden stomach virus. Although you felt bad for the freckled boy, you couldn’t help but silently rejoice at the fact that you had Tsukishima’s attention for once. Taking a deep breath for courage, you twiddled your thumbs as you asked Tsukishima,”Would it be okay if I went with you? J-just to check in and see if he’s alright, of course!” 

You jumbled in that last sentence when you saw Tsukishima raise a brow at you. After a moment of silence, you sat back in your seat with a frown, before hearing Tsukishima mutter,”Sure.”

You just barely caught the answer before he was putting his headphones back on, and you couldn’t help but grin to yourself, the butterflies flying around in your stomach.

—————  
Friendship

You hugged a pillow to your chest as you sat beside Tsukishima against the wall in the room where the club would be sleeping in. It was 8 o’clock and none of the boys were tired, so everyone sat around trying to pass the time. Tanaka and Nishinoya were wrestling with the other second years cheering them on, Hinata and Kageyama had gone to steal snacks from the kitchen, and Daichi, Sugawara, and Asahi conversed about school. 

You sat quietly beside Tsukishima, who had his headphones on and was scrolling through his phone bored. Staring at him, Tsukishima caught you off guard by turning to meet your stare.

Squeezing the pillow tighter, you mumbled a,”Sorry,” before turning to look at anything else but him. You heard a sigh, before glancing back to see him removing his headphones. 

“Staring’s rude, you know.” 

You nodded in embarrassment, feeling your ears heating up. You mumbled,”I was just wondering what your listening to.” After hearing no response, your ears were suddenly engulfed by rock music, the sound of a guitar solo flooding your ears.

Looking back at Tsukishima, he was just pulling his hands away before you smiled widely, grinning ear to ear. You said,”This sounds cool!” You saw Tsukishima cringe, and you looked over to see half of the room staring at you. 

Removing the headphones slowly and carefully, you handed them back as you muttered,”Thanks, I like your music. It sounds so cool!” Tsukishima nodded in agreement, but before he could put them back on, you asked,”Do you know how to play any instruments?”

He thought for a moment before silently shaking his head. You grinned, replying,”I know how to play the bass, you should come over and I can teach you some stuff! T-that is, if you want!” You caught yourself in your excitement, and the heat in your ears was returning when Tsukishima nodded in reply.

Grinning, you started to have a conversation with him about music, mainly you talking and him replying in short answers or just silent nods. 

It looked pitiful from an outsiders perspective, but you took what you could and appreciated his responses, knowing you’re getting through his shell slowly but surely.

—————————  
Confidence 

“I like girls with black hair, like Kiyoko!” Nishinoya exclaimed, bouncing a volleyball up and down. Tanaka was quick to hit the ball out of his hands, retorting,”The only girl with hair I’ll ever like is Kiyoko!” Everyone sighed at Tanaka’s idiotic comment, but you couldn’t help but laugh.

Nudging Kiyoko beside you, you jokingly asked,”What’s your type Kiyoko? Buzzcuts?” Tanaka looked at her with hope, before being crushed by Kiyoko’s response,”I prefer hair.” Chuckling at her response, you went to write on your clipboard, when Yachi tapped you,”W-what’s your type, (Y/N)?”

For a moment you met eyes with Tsukishima, before he quickly turned away. Smiling, you looked to her and said somewhat loudly,”I quite like blondes.” You glanced over to see Tsukishima look back to you, locking eyes. You stared with a type of confidence, before turning back to Yachi.

You didn’t know why, but her cheeks were tinted red as she averted her gaze.

—————————

Confession

Sitting on your bed, you laughed as Tsukishima stubbornly denied your help as he tried to thrum some of the strings in a melodic way. His hands clumsily ran over the strings, despite you telling him his big hands were good for playing.

Scoffing as he played the cords wrong for the umpteenth time, he sighed, passing the bass back to you before snatching his phone. Taking the bass, you smiled softly, saying,”You’ll get better, just keep trying, it took me forever to learn it.” 

Tsukishima kept his eyes on his phone as he asked,”How long have you been playing?”

Strumming the cords, you let out a whimsical sigh as you replied,”I’ve been playing since before I could remember. It just hooked me in, kinda like love at first sight, ya know?” You felt your cheeks heat up as you said those last words, almost regretting it. Yet Tsukishima said nothing, letting the silence envelope you both.

A minute passed before you asked softly, almost like you were hoping he wouldn’t answer,”Do you like anyone?” He looked up from his tapping, thumb halted mid-swipe as he stared at you. A moment passed before he answered,”I don’t know.” Nodding at his answer, you felt your cheeks heat up as he had yet to move his eyes away from yours.

After a moment, you felt your confidence raise slightly as you scooted beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder. You felt him tense slightly, but you didn’t back down, remembering the old man’s words from that day.

‘Don’t live your life with regrets...’ you thought to yourself.

“Can I do something?” You asked. When he said nothing but kept looking at you, you let a shuddery breath out, before closing the distance. 

His lips were chapped, yet warm. And for a moment, it felt like he had kissed back.

—————————

Distance

Rolling out the volleyball cart for today’s practice, you sighed as your eye pulsed, the bruising having gone down slightly but still noticeable. You ignored the sounds of everyone shuffling in to change, but you couldn’t ignore the confused noises of Tanaka beside you. Looking over, he grabbed your face, angrily asking,”Who did this to my boy?!” 

Sighing, you pulled away as you replied,”I just ran into the door. I’m fine Tanaka,” Giving him a smile, he nodded, quickly finding interest in something else. You felt a sharp gaze on your back, but you ignored it to resume pushing the cart.

Soon, the sounds of volleyballs being hit filled the gymnasium, filling your thoughts. Sitting on your heels crouched down, you frowned as Tsukishima seemed to put less effort than usual into his jumps. Sighing, you pulled your gaze away as you felt a slight nudge to your back.

Turning half heartedly, you saw Kiyoko and Yachi, Kiyoko looking as calm as usual and Yachi averting her eyes. Standing up, you gave a soft smile as you asked,”Do you need something?”

Kiyoko clasped her hands around Yachi’s shoulders, bluntly saying,”She needs to talk to you.” Yachi turned red as she waved her hands in denial, but you ignored it as you responded,”Let’s go outside, I need some air.” Yachi nodded, following your lead as you two walked outside. 

After shutting the door behind her, she turned to you nervously. Scratching your neck, you asked softly,”Is something wrong?” After a moment of fumbling with her words, she quickly exclaimed,”I like you, please go out with me!” 

Staring in shock, you felt your mouth open in close, your stomach sinking. As she waited for her response, you looked towards the gym door, wondering if anyone heard.

Wondering if Tsukishima heard.

—————————  
Regret.

Walking hand in hand with Yachi towards the gym where the game would be held, you stopped by the restroom, letting her go. After an initial look of confusion from the girl, you said,”Just gotta pee. It’ll take a second, so go on ahead.” Yachi smiled and nodded, quickly walking inside the gym.

After she was out of earshot, your smile dropped and you sighed as you pushed the door open. Faltering as you saw Tsukishima washing his hands, you quickly passed him to enter a stall. Quietly leaning against the door, you pressed the heels of your palms against your eyes, taking a few deep breaths before deciding to acknowledge the elephant in the room.

Walking out, Tsukishima was about to leave before you grabbed the back of his jacket. He halted, and you quickly pulled your hand back. He turned and met you with his usual tough gaze, and you averted your eyes.

After a moment of thick silence, you mumbled,”I want to apologize for that day. I shouldn’t have kissed you.” You saw him cross his arms, but you continued,”I understand if you don’t accept my apology. Just wanted to let you know I regret it.”

“Oh?” Tsukishima started. You looked up shamefully to see him grinning at you. “After you kiss me you run off and get a beard. I don’t think you’re really sorry, just embarrassed.”

Staring agape at him, your eyes burned with tears as you stuttered,”I-I’m truthfully sorry. A-and I didn’t, I like Yachi-“ “Oh, please. Everyone can see it’s a facade. A pretty bad one, too. Just spare Yachi the time and leave her, it’s obvious you don’t like her.”

“But I do!” You exclaimed.

“Tell me something you like about her.” 

“She’s kind, a-and-“ “Or is it because she’s blonde? After all, you seem to like blondes I recall.” 

You grimaced as he held a grin, before you angrily responded,”I did all this because I liked you. I regret it all, Tsukishima. You no good, petty bastard.” Bumping shoulders with him, you rubbed the tears threatening to escape from your eyes and quickly headed towards the exit.

Searching for Yachi, your eyes widened as you saw Tsukishima somehow already there, talking to her, Yachi having a look of anguish. They both seemed to sense your presence, turning to look at you. Yachi seemed to tear up at the sight of you, and you didn’t miss Tsukishima’s smirk. You quickly turned around and left the gym.

Running out to the parking lot, you looked around before taking out into a jog. You didn’t know where you were going, but it was better than where you were.

After running for almost 15 minutes, you stumbled to a bench, before holding your face. Letting the tears finally flow, you felt your stomach churn at everything. 

Thinking back to the old man that day, you wished you had never locked eyes with Tsukishima. You wished you had never signed up to be a manager, or had met Yachi, or had met the team. You spitefully chuckled at your last thought.

You regretted everything.


	2. i wish i never met you

Scrolling through your phone as the train carried on its path on the tracks, you chuckled slightly as Yuuji sent you a meme through text. Texting a reply, your nerves seemed to settle as you two texted back and forth. Yuuji knew of your nerves that settled once you had gotten that text from Daichi despite years of no contact since high school, but despite the past and with encouragement from Yuuji, you accepted his offer of a reunion with the volleyball club.

After that fated day that you could never seem to forget at the game with Tsukishima, you had quit the volleyball club with no clear reason for the rest of the team. The only people who had an idea was Tsukishima and Yachi, whom you had apologized soon after the incident. She was the only one who you kept any contact with, albeit only a little, but you still felt guilt anytime you two texted. She surprised you with how forgiving she was, despite what you did to her. 

Tsukishima on the other hand, never spoke to you after that day and vice versa. Not that you were complaining. 

The train quickly slowed to a stop, and you pulled your coat closer to your body as you stepped out, the cold wind whipping your face, feeling your cheeks and nose redden quickly. Joining the crowd of holiday shoppers, you shuffled through the crowd for about fifteen minutes, before spotting the bar you’d be joining the rest of the team in. 

Entering and taking off your coat and boots, you were directed to the private room they were in. Taking a deep breath before you opened the door, you remembered Yuuji’s encouraging words before sliding open the door. 

All eyes were on you, everyone from your short time on the volleyball team taking in your appearance. Checking the time on your phone, you asked aloud,”Am I late?” Laughter broke out, Tanaka quickly getting up to clap your shoulder and sit you beside him. You were met with greeting by everyone, everyone warmly embracing your presence despite you seemingly leaving them in the dust.

Quickly ordering drink, you caught up quickly with everyone, congratulating the Tanaka’s engagement and expressing your sadness over Nishinoya’s move. Everything seemed normal, but you could feel familiar eyes staring at you every time you talked.

The glasses seemed to go quick, and you loosened up quicker than you thought, even moving seats to sit beside Yachi, as she was the closest one to you out of everyone. As you reached to grab another drink, Yachi gasped as she reached and grabbed your hand. 

“You’re engaged!” She exclaimed.

All eyes turned to you, before being bombarded by questions. Who was the lucky girl? Who proposed? How long have you been engaged? Laughing at their eagerness to know, you felt your ears burn from the attention and slightly from the alcohol.

“Ah, I proposed last spring, and I was so nervous I fell into the fountain I was proposing by. Out wedding is going to be next summer, and it’s going to be at the lake they asked me out.” Aww’s were let out through the room, and you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. Looking at the contact photo, it was Yuuji, speak of the devil.

“Speaking of which, it’s them. I’ll be right back,” You slid out if the room to step outside into the alleyway, quieter than inside with only the slight sound of traffic. Picking up, you smiled as Yuuji was making sure you’re okay and if you wanted him to come pick you up. Laughing at him, you calmed his nerves, fiddling with the ring on your finger. Laughing as he made sure for the hundredth time your were okay, you sighed a goodbye to him.

“I love you, Yuuji. See you soon,” Was your last words before you hung up.

“Terushima Yuuji?” A voice called out beside you. You whipped your head to see Tsukishima standing beside you, looking at your phone screen which illuminated a picture of you and your fiancé, a kiss being held to your cheek.

Stuffing your phone into your pocket, you ignored Tsukishima’s gaze to light a cigarette. “Yes, Terushima Yuuji.” You murmured, pressing the cigarette to your lips. Tsukishima held his own out, and you quickly lit his with no objection.

“Since when did you smoke?” He asked, taking a short drag. You kept the stick between your lips as you muttered,”Picked it up in high school as a stress reliever. I think you’re smart enough to know which event,” Tsukishima said nothing to that, a silence filling the air.

After a few moments of silence being the only sound filling the air, Tsukishima broke it with a solemn,”I’m sorry.” Glancing over in shock, you gave a slight scoff before throwing your cigarette to the ground and stomping it out. “What’s the apology for?”

“For everything I did that made you quit.”

“Oh yeah, sure. Just drop it, I want to forget it as much as you do.” 

“But I know why I did what I did.” 

Shooting a glare to him, you felt your temper rising as you said,”If this is gonna be one of those ‘I despised you because I like you’ explanations, I don’t want it.” Tsukishima kept quiet for a moment, before nodding. Learning of his feelings for you in high school made your stomach do flips, but not in a good way, more of a sickening way.

You felt Tsukishima move closer to you, his arm grazing yours as he breathed out,”You were nicer in high school,” Giving a slight scoff, you replied sharply,”I was walked on in high school. I was outed by you in high school. I was punched by you in high school. I liked you in high schoolz Tsukishima, I don’t know if you know this, but people change over time. If you think I was going to run into your arms after you tormented me in high school, you’re dead wrong.”

Tsukishima furrowed his brows after your rant, before turning towards you. Watching as his warm breath formed a cloud from his mouth, your eyes widened when he grabbed you softly by the shoulders. Leaning closer towards your face, he muttered,”Let me at least make sure I’m right,” At that, he closed his eyes and leaned in.

Slamming a hand to your mouth, Tsukishima’s lips met your palm, his eyes shooting open to see your harsh glare. Pushing his face away harshly, you slapped him, his face sharply turning to the right. 

“What the hell is wrong with you? I’m married Tsukishima, for God’s sake!” You screamed, unabashed by confused onlookers. Shoving past him, you opened the door to the bar, not bothering to shut it as you grabbed your coat, quickly exiting again.

Looking back to Tsukishima, you stomped up to him, jabbing a finger to his chest as you seethed,”You can explain to them why I left the volleyball team and why I left tonight, you bastard.” With that, you turned and walked off, phone out to call Yuuji.

Tsukishima watched your form fade into the crowd, a solemn look on his face as he touched his lips. 

“I wish I had never met you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Might do a happy ending, but only if popular demand requests.


End file.
